Posted in musings, quotes

today and only today

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Depression feeds into regret – it reminds me of everything I’ve done that I could have done better, makes me feel guilty for every misspoken word or careless act, piles the past onto my head in a tornado of accusations and reminders of failure. And yet, despite all of that focus on the past, it never helps me change anything for the better in the present. All it does is feed me lies and hold me captive in the dungeon of my own mind.

Anxiety feeds into worry – it whispers in my ear all the potential things that could go wrong, catapults my mind to the worst possible conclusion when faced with hints and partial knowledge, makes me cower in fear of the unknown future, promises that I will fail again and something I cherish will be lost forever. And yet, despite all of that focus on the present, it never gives me a practical solution that I can start living out in the present. All it does is feed me lies and hold me captive in the dungeon of my own mind.

A quote like this one won’t free someone from anxiety and depression, but it can be a reminder to me now, when I’m not struggling with those illnesses like I have in the past, that I don’t need to keep listening to the lies they told me then. I can get up each day and do my best. I can pick myself up each hour, ask for forgiveness if necessary, and start again. I can present each minute to God as my gift, regardless of how I failed in the last minute or may fail again in the next minute.

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